My two-year-old loves Babybel cheese. EVERY morning, his first move is toward the refrigerator, shouting with joy, “Cheese, please! Cheese, please!”
It would be cute, if he got up around 8:00 or 9:00 in the morning. However, my son is an early riser. So on any given day I get to listen to my son scream with enthusiasm for his cheese before I have even poured my first cup of coffee.
Yesterday was different, because I knew we were out of cheese. He didn’t seem to grasp this as I responded to his excited cheers for cheese with a banana from the shelf. I could see the confusion on his face as he looked from his banana back to me, back to his banana. In a small little whisper, he looked up and tried again, less enthusiastic, and more sorrowful. “Cheese? Please?”
To reiterate, I had not even pure my first cup of coffee. So in vain, I tried to explain in detail that we didn’t have cheese and the need for us to go to the store. But he only understands the world in black and white terms; yes or no. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why his dad’s answer was no.
The only thing I could really think, while I tried to explain the absence of cheese, was, “Why am I doing this? Just tell him no cheese and go drink your coffee.”
During the second attempt of explaining the cheese shortage, I mentioned that we would have to go to the store before we could have cheese. I knew instantly I had made a mistake, because now he did understand; first the store, then the cheese.
Immediately he brought me my shoes and jacket.
So at 6:30 a.m., Isaac and I are still in our PJ pants, wearing our jackets and shoes, heading out to the store. And I still hadn’t had my coffee.
As we pulled out of the driveway, he was singing/shouting the word cheese, over and over and over again. All I could think was, “Why am I doing this?”
Well if I was going to be out that early, I decided to stop at the donut shop for sugar and caffeine. As we entered the store, I immediately became self conscious of my PJ pants and singing toddler. Seven or eight older men, in their 70s, wearing khakis and polos, stopped talking and stared at a grown man with his two-year-old singing about cheese.
Again, I thought, “Why am I doing this? I should have just said no and drank my coffee.”
As we waited for the cashier to get our coffee, juice, and donuts, a man sitting nearby asked me if I had the day off.
Embarrassed at how I was dressed and how loud my son was singing, I just shook my head and said, “No, he wanted cheese, so I thought we could get some cheese at the store and maybe have some guy time here before I go to work.”
He smiled and simply said, “Good for you! I should have done that more.”
Suddenly, I realized why I was doing this. Relationships are precious and these moments are temporary. They are not guaranteed and the won’t last. There will come a day when I long to have my son hug me tight, to hear him cheer for cheese, and to have early morning adventures before I’ve even had my coffee.
I don’t want to look back and ask myself, “Why didn’t I do this more?”
Michael Haddox is the current director of family ministry at Meridian United Presbyterian Church in Meridian, Pa. He is married to the Rev. Jennifer Haddox, associate director of the Seminary’s World Mission Initiative, and father of two amazing and energetic boys. A recent MDiv graduate from Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, Mike has a passion for the discipleship of youth and children. He has been blessed with the opportunity that allows his call and passion to be blended with his vocation. In addition to his family and job, he spends his time drawing, practicing his ukulele, and hanging out with his family.